For most of us, it’s still hard to talk about sex. Even though there is a plethora of information about sex on the Internet as well as in movies and books, very few people share meaningful information about their sex lives with friends, family or even their partners. We can call friends for advice about finances or child rearing, but talking openly about sex is still difficult.
Sex therapists have traditionally offered a safe environment to talk about frustrations in the bedroom. They can offer information and suggestions about sex that can help people achieve greater intimacy with their partners.
However, the most exciting breakthrough in sex therapy is the use of mind/body modalities such as EMDR and Brainspotting, which allow clients to access and integrate the psychodynamic underpinnings of their sexual problems and release any accompanying body distress. This results in a more thorough mind/body/spirit resolution.
Most of my clients are well-educated and progressive in their sexual views. However, what they think intellectually may be different from the feelings they hold in their bodies. For example, negative beliefs such as “I don’t deserve pleasure,” “Sex is dirty, demeaning or dangerous,” or “I’m a failure because I can’t perform” can block the ability to have orgasms, maintain erections, and/or ejaculate to achieve sexual pleasure. New therapies allow clients to rewire the old messages so they can be truly present and more intimate with a partner.